In love, one and one...
are...
one.
Seldom do we get the opportunity to witness the art in love.
But that is what we all really desire.
Not just to be loved,
but to be loved in that all-encompassing,
Heathcliffe-on-the-moors, one-true-Iove,
soulmate kind of way.
And yet, rarely are we prepared for it when it happens by.
Perhaps you've been trying to inject meaning into your life...
endlessly seeking that spiritual connection in other ways.
There's no way I'm going.
That's no way to behave, young man.
Nash, you did hear that they're protesting downtown?
The nerve of those people.
Nerve is right. It's all a lot of noise.
Noise and nonsense... but we'll be there.
All of us, Pastor Barry. Don't you worry.
That's the kind of support we're looking for, right?
Or maybe you're one of those rare and fortunate few
who find true love very early in life.
For others, life might be at its most grim.
This way, Peyton...
you can arrange your life exactly as you want it...
And precisely as you like.
You did an amazing job today, Lombard.
Thank you.
And as funerals go, not too shabby.
Yeah.
I think Mom even would have approved.
You know, if we had a few more years,
we could have made her a Democrat.
Maybe not.
It's really pretty, isn't it?
I need to go for a swim.
Well, do it.
And if soulmates exist,
how can we be sure that that person we meet
or the person that we're sharing our life with
is the one?
Here are a few stories that may shed some light on the subject.
I'll let you be the judge.
Our families...
they kept us apart for ten years.
We lost track.
Then, one day, I was in the airport,
on my way to London for school.
I saw the back of Rasheed's head,
from across an entire airport.
I knew it was him.
I turned as if I had no control over my body.
I turned, and I saw him.
I saw him, this man -
this beautiful man, who I love.
This man that I love.
That is what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm talking about!
The twin flame.
The ultimate love connection.
You know, I heard that someone might be ovulating this morning.
Mmm, hmm.
It wouldn't happen to be you, would it?
It would.
Then I'll be right back.
OK.
I love you.
I know.
There are no guarantees in life, Peyton.
Be prepared for anything.
So, what time will you meet us?
Uh... not sure.
Don't tell me you're not coming.
Millie, I really have a lot to do.
I'm very busy.
Oh, it's very clear God's got your back.
You're running everything here so smoothly.
But you have to commit to your faith...
and put it to real work.
Well, you know I teach the kinder program
on Saturday mornings, but I really just don't think
that your interpretations...
Please. Interpretations?
That's the oldest trick in the book.
But given that the Bible was written in...
They are tearing us apart with all their marriage talk
and liberal judges ruling willy nilly in their favor.
We are not going to stand by and allow it, Mrs. Winters.
Shame on you.
Shame on you for undermining your husband's work.
But more importantly - God's work.
Elena...
I'm sorry, but she just... she's been really tired.
It's OK.
I've already forgiven her.
I knew you would.
So excuse me.
Oh, sure.
# And how do we mend this whole world #
# And mold it into something better #
# Only love and only time #
# Will ease my mind #
# I'm looking for something better #
Why do people drink tea?
It's a very civilized way to pass the time.
I drink tea, Peyton,
because there's nothing that a good cup of tea can't fix.
I'm so sorry.
- Did you start your period? - Yeah.
I know how much you want this.
But maybe we're trying to hard.
Or maybe we should ask God,
pray to God to bring us another child.
Millie.
[Voicemail beep]
Hey, sweetie, it's Aunt Lenore.
Um, the family's a bit concerned.
No one's heard from you in days.
We know you like your privacy,
but the nursing home called, and you know,
your mom would be pretty horrified if she knew
you hadn't gone to pick up her belongings yet.
# And how do we mend this whole world #
# And mold it into something better #
# Only love and only time... #
(Tyler) Now then...
For those of your debating the soulemetry qualities
of that special someone,
let us look at a few of the criteria
that are absolutely necessary
if this person is indeed your twin flame.
First of all,
this person may come in an unusual package.
Not your typical type.
I was a nun for years,
and I was working at the food bank when she came in,
looking like the bad side of awful.
And so I got her into treatment
and found her a welding job,
you know, got her back on her feet.
And somewhere during all of that,
I fell deeply in love with her.
But it was, it was against everything that I believed in.
So I prayed and went into seclusion,
but nothing, nothing that I did could, um,
keep her from my mind.
And, um, then one morning,
I woke up in the hospital.
God, I was scared.
You were pale.
Apparently, I had passed out from dehydration,
and when I came to,
there was Jackie... sitting there like an angel.
I thought I'd never see her again.
When I did...
And I knew from that moment,
even though my entire life had been devoted to the church
and Catholic scripture,
I knew that my God loved Jackie...
And loved me loving her.
You're gonna love this one.
It's called "Soulemetry By The Stars."
My beautiful wife Lily arranged the whole thing.
See ya' there.
Ah! As if on-cue.
Hey, baby.
I'm about to go snap up that internet company
that's been cut off at its knees.
Ah!
If they only knew what a pussy cat you really are.
I mean, seriously.
Do I look like I belong with this jet-setting businesswoman?
Or any woman for that matter?
All my life, everybody thought I was gay.
Was it my sensitivity?
My extensive collection of Barbara Streisand memorabilia?
Who can say.
When it comes to Lily, it's the real deal.
He's all yours.
You are going to love this story!
Or not.
Let's get you a drink.
You're not doing anything wrong. Stop that!
Maybe it's a sign.
Well, that's why we're adopting.
Listen, my exquisite angel...
I know you better than anybody.
My God, between your archaic parents
and Barry's crusades du jour,
it's a testament to your strength...
Or complete insanity.
Tell me something.
What's in this for you?
Come on, give me your hands. Give me your hands.
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times,
he is not your twin flame.
Alright?
This silly little congregation.
Oh...
Interesting.
What?
I'm getting that you should pursue the adoption.
Someone is definitely coming into your life...
- In a big way. - Yes. A baby.
- That's not what I'm seeing. - Please...
I love that you do all of this.
You know I do.
I just, I'm not sure that I believe what...
Sweetheart, there is no denying what I'm seeing here.
Your destiny is gonna happen whether you like it or not.
- I know what I'm talking about. - I know you do.
Secondly, they meet. Randomly.
Possibly, the only place their worlds could intersect.
Sorry, I just had a quick question.
I can't help but notice that I'm the only single person here,
and I, I just wanted to know, um, I mean,
I have a job as a writer,
I just, I didn't know if there was a longer process...
No, it's just as long, whether you're single or married.
And all the paperwork's right in here for you.
OK. Thank you.
Are you... Are these yours?
Oh! Thank you!
I'm sorry. I'm so silly.
It happens to me all the time.
I just forgot my bag!
I don't mean to pry, but are you OK?
Oh, yes. I'm just, I am...
It's all just a little bit overwhelming.
Yeah. I know.
I, uh, heard you talking.
Um, why do you want to do this alone?
Uh, well, it hadn't really been the plan -
but you know what?
It's a long story.
Right. You're the writer.
That's funny.
What about you? What do you do?
I'm a photographer, actually.
Well, I used to be a photographer.
I better be going.
OK. Do you have a card?
I'm always looking for photographers.
I do.
Me too, somewhere.
It's, um, well, it's kind of old.
It's great.
It works!
- Thank you. - Sure.
You're welcome.
- Bye. - Bye.
Hey, it's me! Where are you?
In the kitchen.
Thank God you live across the street.
I am so stuck in a loop here.
Whoa... Geez-o.
Help a sister out, will you?
Well, here we go!
For medicinal purposes - isn't that what you need?
Is there a cricket in the house?
Yeah.
That's going to drive me freaking mad.
Oh, great. OK, shoo shoo the cricket.
Yeah, I just feel so out of control.
I mean, you'd think I'd be able to beat it.
I wrote the damn book on it.
Oh, come on.
That was before your mom's death.
Not to mention psycho-chick
cheating on you with my girlfriend!
It wasn't all her fault.
You know, I was completely MIA once my mom got sick.
Yeah, you're way too forgiving.
Honestly, I don't know why
you wanted to procreate with her anyway.
I mean, you have seen "Rosemary's Baby."
You know, at least with Margaret,
we were compatible.
[Laughs]
Yeah.
Lombard!
I've know you since high school,
and you were with her because she was safe!
There was about as much passion between you and Devil Woman
as a bloody rice cracker!
I mean, they're very nice.
But I don't want one in my vagina,
and I'm absolutely sure that you don't either!
Oh, my God.
And I know I'm different. You know?
I go through 'em like socks in a drawer,
but at least I get to feel.
I get highs, lows, schmucky...
And all good and fucky!
So you are going to have to put your wonderful heart out there
and get to feel all these wonderful feelings, too.
But until that time, you are under strict orders
to only do things that make you feel good.
Not bad. Good.
OK.
Don't ever let them see your pain, Peyton.
Don't let your guard down, ever.
Look, Lombard.
This love guru is supposed to be the absolute best.
OK, Wave.
Anything to get out of this house.
Remember that chick I was seeing on Friday?
Mmm, hmm.
She was dating Erin and my ex.
I don't even want to hear it.
You said your eyes were wide open.
Yeah, well?
I'm legally blind in my left eye,
so thank you very much for your sensitivity.
You know what you're like?
You're like the lesbian Jennifer Aniston.
Why in the hell do you think we're going to this thing?
Where are you going all dolled up?
You know I'm going to Tyler's event.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You know, I still don't get it.
He was on his way to being one of the best
directors in film school,
and now he's messin' around with his soul foods?
- Soulemetry. - Soulemetry?
- Yeah. - Mmm, hmm.
Yeah...
I don't get it.
He lives for this.
And I live for... this.
You know, maybe you could wear this next date night.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Well, maybe if you get lucky, I'll get home early.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
See ya later.
The cookie...
Look, Lombard,
this love guru is supposed to be the absolute best.
Tell me why I have to go to this thing again.
Because if I do find my soulmate, you must approve!
And I figured we'd find you one while we're at it.
# Love! #
# One and one are One #
# The heart of love #
# Reveals the beauty of our soul #
How many times do our eyes simply not see?
Your soulmate could be standing right next to you right now,
and you wouldn't even know it.
That's because you have your true self,
and what I call your celebrity self.
The one that's obsessed with ego,
the one that wants the hunk
or the thick brown hair, the bedroom eyes.
Ah, you know what I'm talking about, don't you?
You know, you recognize, you really recognize.
These pairings never work out.
And when they fail, we wonder why, why, why,
with our broken hearts and our bruised egos.
Now don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying physical attraction isn't important.
Of course, it is.
Hello!
What I am saying is don't confuse
the attraction to the physical
with the yearning of the soul.
Given its chance, the true self, the higher self will always
break through to find its soul partner.
And trust me, it could come from the person you least expect it.
Chew on that... and some hors d'oeuvres.
I'm going to start my readings in a few minutes.
Welcome, welcome.
[Applause]
That woman over there?
No, no, don't look.
She's trying to hit on me.
Seriously!
Oh, my God, she is not coming over here.
Uh, excuse me... Pardon me.
- Hey. - Hey.
There you are. Oh, my God.
Could she be any more stunning?
- You were great. - Thank you.
I am Tyler Montegue, and you are...
Peyton.
I actually met Peyton at the adoption center.
Small world.
Small world. Six degrees. What's that even mean?
This delusion with accidents.
I'm going to start my readings.
Well, since this was obviously pre-ordained,
do you wanna get a drink?
- I would love to. - OK.
I feel like I'm at the races, always picking the wrong horse.
That's just it.
Has it ever occurred to let love find you?
Peyton, you're so brave...
To want to have a baby on your own.
You never thought about getting married?
Oh, I was married.
I thought you said you were single.
I am - now.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - That's OK.
How long were you married?
Six years.
You?
Fifteen.
What happened?
I don't know.
I guess all the predictable stuff.
My partner couldn't handle all the time I spent
with my ailing mother.
Your partner?
Mm hmm.
Your partner...
You're, um...
(both) Gay.
Well, I think that that is just fine.
I voted no on Prop 8.
Or was it yes on Prop 8?
I don't know, it was all very, very confusing,
but I know that I voted the right way.